"Saying we should, doesn't mean we are". I love that statement. My list of good intentions far exceeds my "I am doing" list a lot of the time; and this is a thought pattern I am working on breaking this year. Many of us took on the New Year with a genuine commitment to make positive changes for ourselves, but realistically, how many of those changes were actually put down on paper and thought out with a plan of action? I have several notebooks I use to jot down ideas, inspirations, thoughts that fly through my head - and believe me, getting them out of my mental filing system and down on paper helps me make sense of what was really a passing moment of "wow" and what was meaningful and necessary for my personal growth.
Past experience has led me to the following conclusions: Saying I should be doing something else, or should be somewhere I'm not or I should be whatever, leads to a standstill of indecision and that of inactivity for the most part. This is different than taking a pause to reassess and reflect on what's really going on in my behavior and what direction will keep me moving forward. Being focused on where I want to be and writing out the plan of action to get there (along with strategies to move through possible obstacles) keeps the "should's" at bay and out of the way of murking up the waters. What murks up my waters is when I go to shaming myself for thinking or acting in a way that is different than where I want to eventually be. Shame has no positive attributes; it doesn't build up or lift the spirit nor does it radiate light and goodness - self-shame loves to stay in the dark and sneak up and sabotage the best of intentions. Watch and recognize how often the "should's" rears it's ugly head in your day. Practice just acknowleging when it happens without judgment - only when it happens. Change can only move when there is an awareness of something going on. Once there is an awareness, we can move into altering the outcome. We're all in this together.
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